Hot N Cold

Woke up at 11 sharp, then ate and study... Almost never go for swimming, cause sis has girls' "problems". So we sent mum and her to funeral then me and dad went to swimming. Then ate, buy fruit and walk at the Pasar Malam there. Long time never go liao. Burn joss papers(I think it's called that) the whole day. And had aunt's stuck~up problems again. Finally went to see uncle's corpse... His skin had turned green cause of some chemical the people injected to make decomposing slower. He looked sad, but like Frankenstein... Then sent Irwin home...

Elder couz told my mum I sounded like no confidence when I say things. Swimming coach also said I swim well, but I have no confidence... Not I no confidence la, but that I lost it. Ever since that RoD incident, I've been asking myself, was it my fault? Did everything went wrong cause I had bad leadership? Or was it that the other Sec 1s are reluctant to do things and they don't even care about it? I'm somehow lost in my heart now, I became more careful about what I say, I'm tired of having the same thing repeating itself now...